Wednesday, February 09, 2005


Complaining Board (you may want to skip this post)

I had a long day. I drove up North about 5 hours had an appointment and began my journey back. All in all, I put in a 12 hour day, though I have to admit I sometimes don't feel it appropriate to refer to my driving time as working. I know that it is time devoted to my job, but it just seems funny to say that I talked on the phone, listened to talk radio, some music, and let my mind beat me up for awhile...that's the work I performed today. Sure I thought about my job and how to classify this and that and how to document this situation or that, but not too much. In any case, I got home and then decided to go back out clubbing...only problem is that the only club in the area that I thought I knew to be open late on Wed Night is Posh, and it turns out I was could that happen? I was there once before on a Wed, which I thought was Salsa night, but they were closed when I got there tonight. I drove by some bars which were all dead and I decided to come back here and start typing.

Can I really claim that a day I was able to sum up in one paragraph was a long day? I don't know, but it felt long. I grew increasingly annoyed over the course of the day with the situation from my last post. I'm probably being petty, just like I claimed the others were being, but I have come to the conclusion that I don't want anything to do with the coworker who would never introduce me to any of his friends. The more I think about it and our conversations the more I resent him and the more of an asshole he seems to be. I think the great irony is that while he claims that I am the most selfish person he knows, it is in reality he who is the most selfish person he knows. He is infinitely more self involved than me, but he likes to pretend that he is somehow better than me. Perfect example, the redhead. He could have a poker game next week at his house and facilitate the mingling between the other coworker and her, but he won't because he doesn't want to play with four people. I basically pushed everything together for this guy to be in proximity to the redhead before and things didn't work out so I pursue something and I'm the bad guy, while he won't do anything to help the guy and he comes off as the good guy? What the fuck is that? He makes no effort in his relationships...the other people are always making the effort. He doesn't care about anyone but himself, but he likes to pretend makes him feel more human. I don't care that he is so selfish, it just pisses me off when he condemns me for it... blog has turned into a complaining board, which I hope to stop soon, but for now I just need to get it out.

In other news, there is no other news. I didn't talk to the twins last may be a few days before I get to again so I'm on the way down from my high. I really do need an actual girlfriend. I've also almost given up on non-romantic socializing. I think there is a good reason that my long-term friends all live in other states than me. That is the kind of buffer I need to maintain a relationship with someone as a friend. And I can't be friends with women that I'm attracted to (and I think anyone who thinks that is the way to get the woman you are attracted to is smoking crack, because it doesn't work).

What was I rambling about? Basically the fact that all my social outlets in the area are dying and I've put in a Do not resuscitate order. Until I move I'm just going to have to try even harder on the woman front. My goal beginning tommorrow is to hit on/ask out 30 women a week. That is probably not too much higher than what I have been doing, but it is good to set up realistic goals.

I also need to find a drug dealer to keep my high going when I'm not able to talk to the twins (or for when my trip back blows up in my face and they decide they hate me).

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