Monday, December 13, 2004

 

P J O'Rourke

With the holiday season approaching I got to thinking about one of P J O'Rourke's books, Parliament of Whores. In the introduction to that book Mr. O'Rourke pontificates on Why God is a Republican and Santa Clause is a Democrat. Bearing in mind that I am not a Republican, I would still like to share it for the Holidays.

"I have only one firm belief about the American political system, and that is this: God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat. God is an elderly or, at any rate, middle aged male, a stern fellow, patriarchal rather than paternal and a great believer in rules and regulations. He holds men accountable for their actions. He has little apparent concern for the material well being of the disadvantaged. He is politically connected, socially powerful and holds the mortgage on literally everything in the world. God is difficult. God is unsentimental. It is very hard to get into God's heavenly country club.

Santa Claus is another matter. He's cute. He's nonthreatening. He's always cheerful. And he loves animals. He may know who's been naughty and who's been nice, but he never does anything about it. He gives everyone everything they want without the thought of quid pro quo. He works hard for charities, and he's famously generous to the poor. Santa Claus is preferable to God in every way but one: There is no such thing as Santa Claus."


For those interested...here are a few more P.J. quotes:

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.

I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning experience." Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a "learning experience." It makes me feel less stupid.

And now for my personal favorite:

There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.

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