Friday, August 13, 2004


Okay, I'm running out of Titles already...Arghhhh

Get ready for nonstop hilarity. "Things my girlfriend and I have argued about" is highly recommended by none other than me, which may not mean much, but I showed Jason a few entries and he seemed to think it was funny too so hopefully that will provide an adequate endorsement. Incidentally, I'm sure I was directed to this site by someone else, but I can't remember who so I would like to give credit to this unnamed soul and apologize for not remembering who it was that had better internet mining skills than myself.

In other news, my database problem has been fixed, though my printer problem has remained remarkably unfunny. At this point they have given up even pretending that it will ever be fixed and it was recommended that I have other people do my printing for me (I am not making that up) or that I use my portable printer with its own direct port. My portable printer gets approximately 15 pages per printing cartridge so I think this solution is perfect as long as I stop working entirely. That is unlikely to happen though. I have lots of work for this weekend, but next week is going to be tough. I have two appointments set up for next week, but nothing set up for after that week so I have to get some appointments on the board.

I will work from home this weekend though, since it is way too hot in the office on weekends. Anyway I'm out of the office at a reasonable hour tonight to "hang out" and "go bowling." (Wait a sec...I don't think the bowling thing needed to be in quotes, but I'm sure everyone can come up with a way that it is a dirty euphemism.)

This leads me to one last point before I take off tonight. I am torn about typing about my personal life. On the one hand, who would care? On the other hand, who would care? I haven't written anything that I would be concerned about if someone I knew came across it, but part of me wants to be able to if I needed to. I almost went out of my way today to avoid telling a coworker that I have a blog for fear that I might someday need to vent about said coworker and that this would cause him to kick himself in a nonhumorous fashion. I'm still debating.

That being said, there are certain personal issues I feel increasing that I need to write about. I am incapable of going any significant length of time, for example, without lamenting on my long lost love, Emily. Last night I had yet another dream about her and it actually started off somewhat decently. I was walking randomly on some street and she and another girl I didn't recognize were walking on the street too. Emily looked back at me and commented matter of factly that I was following her (which in the dream I didn't think I was) and asked how long it had been? I lost alot of details when I woke up, but somehow I started talking to her and she told me that she doesn't hate me which is perhaps the best I have ever gotten from her in a dream. She then stabbed me. There was a conversation in between about her father and the letter that I sent to her. (In May I sent a letter to her trying to start a dialogue, but since I didn't know where she was, I sent the letter to her parents' house. She had her father call me to tell me "that she would appreciate it if I stopped trying to contact her.") In any case, despite the stabbing, I think it was the best dream I've had in a long time and I actually felt pretty good this morning about it. Then there was the drive to my appointment and the drive in to work. My memories were scattershot around all of the moments that I should have done things differently or that I should have taken advantage of the situation, but didn't. I'm coping better with her absence every day, but it also gets harder as time goes on. It has been eight years now since she erased me from her life, but no matter what I do I can't erase her from mine. I keep looking for someone who might be able to make me think about her a little less (forgetting her is pretty much impossible) but inevitably I can't help but compare the woman to my sweet little pyromaniac. The comparison is always devastating for whoever must stand next to Emily. It isn't fair to compare to different people, but I've never been accused of playing fair. I am looking for someone though. I have been attracted to women other than Emily (though never as completely attracted as I am with her). The most notable was Sarah, out in California. The problem is that the women that I am attracted to are invariably out of my league. It isn't that I'm saying anything disparaging about myself really, but rather just how amazing they are.

Jason asked me the other day about what I am looking for in a woman. My answer was an unqualified "everything." It is unrealistic, but there it is. Perfect body, perfect face, funny, intelligent, kinky nymphomaniac, playful, etc. etc. etc. I had a professor in college who did alot of work with satiating preferences and he thought my standards would shift over time. As of yet, they haven't. One can only hope.

Since I don't want to leave my few (very few) readers on such a depressing note this evening, I thought I would direct everyone to today's post on Kerry's blog, which is much funnier and more entertaining than mine.

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