Sunday, August 29, 2004


Just a personal update...nothing important to see here

I'm having another Emily day...then again what day isn't? Every time I close my eyes I see her sweet face and I want to cry...god damn I'm a pussy. Sorry for the profanity if there are any youngins out there...

In other news, my mother called today. She asked me if my life wouldn't be easier if she were "gone?" Sadly even this couldn't get my mind off of Emily. That is probably because my mother has been suicidal since I was a child and that may be where I got my suicidal tendencies from back when I was suicidal. I no longer am, in case any one is actually worried. Quite a bit back I figured out that the source of pain and misery is the mind and that if there is an afterlife that all it would do is remove the physical distractions of the flesh and leave nothing but my mind to torment me for all eternity...not a pleasant thought to rush anyway I am no longer a threat to myself much to the chagrin of my beloved Emily I'm sure, but nonetheless there it is. So anyway,

I went into the office and filled out some simple paperwork and worked on some misclassified write-ups which are generally fairly quick and easy but in this case ended up taking forever. I also prepped for my appointment tomorrow. I realized recently that with my new sample I am running out of appointments out of state for my current run, which is probably a good thing with the winter coming on. I also talked to Kelly Ann (in case you are reading this I know I spelled it wrong) out in California and they are eager for me to transfer back. The more I think about it the more I think I will transfer back to Southern California after I get my GS-12. The weather is nice, I can try to distract myself from Emily by going and drooling over Sarah (who also won't go out with me, but at least talks to me), and there is lots to do out there...So Cal is so much nicer than Northern California which is why I didn't take the position in San Francisco...

Okay...enough of that...I have to go work on my return email to Meg and Aerin...Meg finished Atlas Shrugged and is working on Fountainhead. I know Aerin fell madly in love with the protaganist in Fountainhead so I am curious to see if Meg is similarly drawn. Hopefully no one will try to charge me with corrupting the youth of America for convincing the two girls to read these books. If I have my way they will soon be reading Hayek and Hume (they have read some Hume, but I don't believe they have read any Hayek yet). I miss them...yet another reason to work my way back to CA, though by then I'm sure they will both be in college in some other state...though I know Aerin is partial to San Francisco so she may very well end up there. Anyway...Good night Ms. Ockmonic (spelling please?) wherever you are.

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